Feeling spring coming... I think!

Hey! It is amazing! For the last 2 weeks, the temperture has been amazing - with the coldest day being -20 and warmest was -9! For Cambridge Bay, which hit -64 for 3 weeks, -20 is balmy. I was walking to the Northern and post office one day, when it was around -11, and saw someone with their pants rolled up and no coat!!! OMG - it was truly beautiful, but wouldn't be me! Ellyott and I went to the community market today and it was so nice to get out of the ordinary routine! Every Friday is momma and baby date night (LOL) and he wanted to go to the "red-dur-aunt". We had dinner at the Inns North and then walked home. There were 2 puppies out back of our house, so I got our dog and we went out to play. A little boy came along and played with us - teaching Ellyott how to climb the mountain - aka snow bank! We stayed out till 640pm, which was amazing! Though he had a bit of a meltdown when I made him come inside to get ready for bed - my name was mud! HA! So, Ellyott and I are leaving Cam Bay for our summer vacation on June 3rd. We head to Montreal as I have a board meeting for a National foundation that I am involved with. My parents are going to drive from NS to Montreal. Dad wants to go see his sister and they will take care of Ellyott while I am in my conference. When I went home at Christmas, I was apprehensive... I love the life here in Nunavut... the pace of things, the patience of the people here and that there is so much more time for me to spend with him here - as opposed to how our life was in NS. But this time, I am actually pretty stoaked to come home! I am DREAMING about the cottage! I am excited to go for a drive and hang out at a beach and swim too! I am excited to see my family and friends and finally, I want to go dancing!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! It is hard for me to be social here because I do not have anyone reliable to care for Ellyott. OMG, my ears are killing me! I had 2 bouts of strep and apparently because the strep was not treated on time, the virus went into my sinuses... when it did that, it caused pressure on my ear drums and the right side burst and the left side is flattened. I am on antibiotics. The nurse said that I should have my hearing back in 36 hours but it has now been about 70 hours and I still can't hear. I looked it up online and apparently there is a chance I won't get it back. I am a little, well alot, freaked out that it won't come back... I could not even hear Ellyott the other night when he woke and that is really scary. I am getting referred to the ENT clinic either here in Cam Bay if they are flying in or in Edmonton. Please wish that my hearing comes back, I am truly afraid. Well, I shall run and clean up the mess! We made and decorated cookies tonight and my kitchen is coated in icing and sprinkles! Yay!!!!!!!!!!!! It was great fun!

Lately

So, lately I have been thinking.... thinking about the things I have done, the changes I have made and the chances I have missed and the things that will happen. I don't know when I became so philosophical - however - perhaps it is something in the highly cholorinated water in Cambridge Bay? LOL. I feel like I may be missing out - I am 32 years old, living in the North with a great set of new friends, no social life, and a kiddo who keeps me in stiches with his crazy ideas and sayings...

i.e."momma, what do my want from the cupboard" OR "momma, what am my going to draw?" OR "momma, what am my are going to do" ---- seriously - do psychic powers come along with motherhood? Should I protest that I am missing out here? I really never know what he wants from the cupboard, I am always wrong on my guesses of what he is going to draw and I never quite prepared that what he is going to do, is probably jump on my head! HAHAHAHAHA!

I feel like I want some things that I have never wanted before. I feel that I really need someone to be with me, to love me, to take care of me, to protect me... any of you reading this who know me in person, know very well that THIS IS NOT ME! I have always believed that I am a strong woman, that I am independant, that I can take care of myself and my son, that I can do anything on my own...

H o W e V e R . . .

this is not how I feel right now! OMG - in Ellyott's words, "My am freaking out a little bit" - this is vulnerable and scary. Probably even more scary then it would be to say I am crushing on someone or more than that.... I don't really knwo what I am talking about right now.... I have been facilitating a training all week, have been sick since the 2nd week in January and Ellyott is sick too. So I am in my delusional, cough medicine, sniffles state - that is probably not the most responsible time to be blogging....

I will write again soon - probably with some crazy comment about how this one makes no sense, that I am not vulnerable and that I do not need someone to take care of me.... blah, blah, blah.... don't listen if that is the case.... truth comes out today!

How fast things change!

So, it is March 22 - happy birthday dad and happy first day of spring!

I am amazed at how fast the weater changes here. In January, we started to get the actual sun peaking the horizon - instead of the hour or less of twilight. Now, here we are, a bare 2 months later and we have the sun rise at 652am and setting at 722pm! Wow! Seriously gaining12 hours of daylight in a mere 2 months is nothing short of astounding! Can you imagine in NS changed this fast! Whoa nelly!

I am pretty happy lately - busy trying to figure out taxes, how to paint and the funny songs my son sings keeps me busy! I am anxiously awaiting our food mail delivery - was supposed to come last week, however arrived today after 5pm, so I have to wait another day. Okay, I suppose because Mr. Ellyott baby-o got some kind of belly bug! Poor babes. He has had it through the ringer with health issues since we have been here... I ordered a well.ca order and aside from my usual laundry soap, I am getting cod liver oil and probiotic powder for him. I hope this helps! He gets a multi vitamin and an extra vitamin D right now, but maybe the cod liver oil will actually work to help prevent being sick... next year, we are seriously getting the flu shot! No ifs, ands, or buts about it!

I was thinking on the weekend about time and wrote on my FB how much I appreciate how time is here... it is so hard to explain, except for the fact that I feel that I can breathe... I am so busy when I am in NS that sometimes my head feels like it is spinning, but here, my head does not spin at all. I am not saying that I don't ever want to be home, but being peaceful and having time to think and reflect is important to me right now. Hopefully, I will be able to incorporate this new way of life, when we move back down south. Will also be trying to maintain this frame of mind during our visit home in May-Juneish!

Well, have some extra work to do tonight, so take care all! XO's!

Quietly stating that we are feeling better...

Hush, I am not saying that too loudly! Ellyott and I are definetly in happier spirits!

Last night I tried to go out to a friends party and ended up in a chaotic situation with the babysitters... I won`t explain, other than to say I may have grown a few gray hairs! LOL

Today Ellyott and I reorganized the barge room, cleaned the house (mostly) and cooked spaghetti! We had such a great day and only 2 incidents of him not listening! YAY!

We made some changes with his daily routine at daycare this past week. He was getting into trouble and being agressive with other much younger kids. We figure that he may be a bit bored and with more directed learning he should be better. So now, the daycare is seperating him in the 2-3 year old area from the little babies and he is going to spend some time with the 4-5 year olds everyday. Through the week, there seemed to be a better pattern emerging! I really hope that this continues for the next weeks to come.

I did my taxes my myself, listening to Adele and Etta James, drinking a tea, laying on my belly with the tax papers all around me... Funniest part of it all was me actually doing the math associated with calculating! I hateeeeeee math! But I hope my calculations are correct!

I think that our next trip home to NS will be around the end of May into June... I am starting to look for good flight deals and may actually have enough aeroplan points for one of us to come home for free! Woohoo! I will have to book in the next few weeks and I will keep you updated!

So, does anyone read this or shall I call it my online journalÉ

Quietly thinking

So, I went to Iqaluit on duty travel, came home to a sick boy and got sick too! We have been sick for 3 weeks! Only reminents for Ellyott is a cough and I have a cough and no voice for the almost 5th day! OMG! I am facilitating a workshop this week - which has been quite an adventure considering! BUt I have adapted and the group has been very understanding. This weekend I am preparing for another workshop with 3 reps from CCSA, the regional managers and ED's of wellness centres - really exciting stuff!

I have been feeling a bit lonely lately... perhaps it is just because I have been so sick. I am craving a hug and to feel okay and safe.... silly and needy huh? I came to Cam Bay wishing for strength as a woman on my own, and find myself wanting a warm embrace... Oh well, suck it up buttercup! LOL!

I may go dancing tomorrow night... but I am taking a friends son for the night on Saturday and am not sure if I want to be tired, taking care of 2, 2 year olds!!! I think I need to have some adult interaction, that is not work related! Ha!

I am still trying to work on finding hobbies I like. I have not been using my camera or painting or writing! Shall I blame it on being uninspired??? Too sick? LOL! I am seriously going to get back at them soon. I need too!

OMG I am soooooo bored tonight! I just want to sit and chat with someone! I wish it was not 1am in NS... there is a few of you I'd love to talk to.

I am thinking of my brother, who was deployed on the HMCS Charlottetown. I truly hope that he is okay and that he comes back to us safely...

Valentines...

Happy Valentines Day...
This is the first year that I have really felt loved. My little boy is so sick and wants to cuddle and be so close... my heart just melted with him today...

I was away in Iqaluit for duty travel for 1 week, during which time my baby got sick :( I wanted to come home so much and time just creeped by sooooo slllllooooowly! I can't say my trip was wonderful. But getting home to a sick boy was... I need to hold him and take care of him. Yes, I recognize how juvenille this blog is sounding, but it is hard to sound adult like when I am talking about being a momma!

So... after almost 2 1/2 months of staring at my new book of poetry journal, I finally wrote a poem! YAY! Not the greatest work of art, but a milestone nonetheless!!! I am proud!

I went on an aurora guided tour when I was in Yellowknife. It was a really memorable experience! They showed me how to use my camera - it took pics of the lights, but when I uploaded them on my comp, they turned out blurry, so I need to keep playing with the settings.

I bought some watercolor pencils so I am going to try drawing again! OMG what a mess that will be! I think that I am becoming addicted to hobbies! Which is actually good because I need some!

I think that this post is a rambling mess of nonsense! I am going to end it and go cuddle in bed with my babes! Take care!

It's been a while

So I went home to NS for 4 weeks, back to Cambridge Bay for 2 days then went off to Ottawa for duty travel meetings. Ellyott stayed here in Cam Bay with his daddy, who left last week. I am trying to get back in the swing of things, but for right now, I feel a bit off...

I have been spending a lot of time thinking since coming to Nunavut and I really see some wholes I am working on. During my trip home and since being back, I really have not spent time working on those things. I am going to start back at it now...!

I bought a book to start writing poetry again... I have all kinds of ideas in my head of things I want to say, but I had forgotten about the courage it takes to write - courage to find the words, get them out and process the concepts. Tonight I saw, in the quiet after Ellyott went to bed, pen in hand and could not write! I al working on downloading some new tunes and I will try again - while listening!

The other passion is music. I lost my love for music - not sure how, when or why... but it is back! Trust me, the iTune charges to my visa prove that! Ha! There are so many beautiful words, songs and messages in songs and aside from death metal and country twangy music, I am happy!

I am working on learning photography as well. I bought an entry level SLR - Canon Rebel with an extra zoom lens. I am doing okay with taking indoor pics and still daytime outdoor pics, but pics of Ellyott moving or Zoey running, turn into a blurry ugly mess! Also, I bought a tripod to use to get pics of the northern lights... I have not figured out how to use the night setting or how to use the slow shutter speed option.... usually my trips out to get pics of the lights last about 5-8 mins and a super painful case of frostbite on my fingers! HA! Great fun - but I am still smiling!

I really appreciate my time in Nunavut, my job, my coworkers, people I have met through Ellyott's daycare and people from the community. I love that time here is slow - I am able to spend quality time with Ellyott in a different way than at home in NS. I love how the air feels here - it is so fresh and clean...not only fresh because it is cold, but fresh because it is not filled with the same pollution as at home. I love it when my eyelashes freeze and when I see people doing kind things for others. I love the fact that I am so close to the tundra - free land, uninhabited land... when I go walking ion the tundra, sometimes it feels as though I am the only person who was ever there... I know that it not reality, but it is exciting to feel that way.

I have decided that I am going to start checking the boards in the stores and post office for a second hand Honda. When it gets warmer, I want to be able to go out on the land with Ellyott, go to Mt Pelly and out to the camps at the Gravel Pit. I want to go to water lake and out by the dump to get pics of the foxes... I want to be mobile to travel around the community and see how the spring comes to the North... These thoughts make me have butterflies!

Well, I am off to check my downloads (soooo slow!) and to try another go at writing... take care all and I promise to write again soon!